i think there should be a new description for a military spouse's emotions.
only in this life can you be simultaneously
the happiest girl in the world,
so sad hes gone or leaving that tears could flow at any moment,
so excited for his return as well as the newness of life constantly changing,
extremely pissed off at that same constant change,
always looking forward to tomorrow with every breath,
always holding on to the past because sometimes its all you have,
thankful for soo many blessings,
yet straining not to question the Lord and just ask "why?",
angry, so angry that he chose to save millions rather than take the desk job back home, how could he be so selfless?,
but mostly proud. so much more proud than you ever have been of anyone, at any time. its a pride that comes with its own endless emotions, all the while knowing that your husband has made the ultimate sacrifice. he has left behind everything he once knew to both find himself and find peace for millions of american who will never even know his name. he may not stand on the front lines of battle, but to you its just as important. because he is helping restore peace and safety, all the while living every day for that welcome home kiss.
he is your sailor, your soldier, your marine, your airman...and that phrase alone brings about even more emotions than described here.
it is not because we are "hormonal women," or that we just dont know how to control ourselves. in fact, i would say that in our own way we carry a similar strength and control, but our strength isnt shown in our ability to complete tasks but our ability to hold all of these emotions and more inside, give him that goodbye hug and kiss, and send him on his way so that he can take care of America. that is a sense of true strength, and i commend every wife (and husband) of a service member for their ability to maintain this.
all of that said, i still dont know how to sum up the emotions i feel at any given moment in this life. i hope to cherish my situation always, because i know there will be a day when i look back and miss the excitement we once had here. but in the meantime, i will just say im feeling like a mil spouse today...and some of you will know exactly what i mean.
